Saturday was day three - or the second day after surgery. It didn't matter how many times I pushed the button on the morphine pump. There was not a single moment I was not in pain. Every millimeter of my 7 and 1/4 inch incision hurt. Pain radiated out from my gut about 6 feet in every conceivable direction.
It hurt to be still. It hurt to move. My back hurt hurt from laying still, but the pain of moving was worse. It hurt to lay flat. It hurt to sit up. It hurt to drink. I couldn't lay on my back without pain. I couldn't lay on my side without more pain. The catheter hurt, the IV lines hurt, the drain in my stomach hurt. My guts were in knots.
Like I said ...
I really hurt bad.
Laura had the night off to fulfill some family obligations and spend some time with the younger boys - it had been a long three days. But, in her wisdom, she had provided a "sitter" for me. One of the elders of the church was there to keep an eye on me and make sure I had what I needed. I acknowledge I was not a very congenial host. Fortunately, my "sitter" did not require any entertainment.
It was day two. That means, it was time to walk. I'd played abdominal surgery before (okay, nowhere near this extant, but I had some experience). I knew how important this was. You have to get up and walk around. It's good for the lungs. It's good for the bowels. It's just plain necessary to to get things working again. It speeds recovery. And it HURTS!
Around 9:30pm I had my final visitor of the evening and it was time to attempt my endless string of 10 to 15 minute cat naps through my 10 hour night. I remember clearly my final thought as my "sitter" prepared to leave ...
If I had remembered how much this hurt, I don't think I could have done it!God often takes us on many side roads, back roads, dirt roads, winding roads and even some off-road paths in order to get us to our destination. To be honest, there are many places we just wouldn't go if we understood in advance where we were headed. The most beautiful destinations of vital relationship and fulfilling life are often only reached through difficult potholes and painful detours. Through the valley of the shadow of death ...
Life hasn't always been easy. I've messed some things up. Some bad things have happened. There are some things I just don't understand. A lot of them seem absolutely unfair. Sometimes that path I was on seemed more like hacking my way through the jungle. Yet, here I am ...
20 years ago if you had told me I would end up right here, right now, you couldn't have made me come. Now, I couldn't image not taking the journey. I've made a lot of good friends along the way, not the least of which is my God. Every time I went around that blind corner into the unknown, there He was!
I have no idea where I'm headed, but I look forward to the next bend in the road.
