Jim and the Art of Lawnmower Maintenance

In Robert Persig's philosophical classic, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Bob teaches us the virtues of analytic thought over romanticism through events, circumstances and conversations he has on a cross country motor cycle trip.  I'm afraid I'm not as intellectually astute.  All I have is the day to day reality of living life, making things work and trusting God for results.

What I learned mowing lawns at the Children's Malnutrition Center in San Juan, Sacatepequez, Guatemala, C.A.:  (To read about the lawn mowing see our team blog, here.)

1. Inspection - It is a good idea to take a quick look at the mower before you begin just to make sure everything is still attached.  Little things like the shroud over the top of the engine or maybe even the muffler.  In the same way, we should inspect our lives.  What is coming apart and why?  We shouldn't wait until things start falling apart when all we needed to do was tighten a few relational screws.
2. Some Maintenance Required - Spark plug, oil and air filters are all expended parts.  When they are bad, they can have serious consequences to the operation of the mower.  In our lives, there are many things that need to be maintained - physical condition, nutrition, relationships, intellectual growth, spiritual connection ...
3. When Enough Is Enough -  When things aren't working well, it is best to stop and fix it rather than soldier on with unsatisfactory results.  Things like bent and twisted blades that extend below the deck of the mower and dig trenches in the yard when a wheel falls in a hole causing a need to raise the deck to the highest level leaving one with less than satisfactory results.  In our life and relationships, sometimes things just don't work.  Rather than making the best of it through the ugliness - FIX IT!  Learn a new skill, ask for help, pray a lot, study what God has to say about it (and then actually do some of it whether you like it or not), whatever it takes to make things right.
4. Fixing the Fixes - There are somethings you should not try to fix by just screwing it on tighter.  When you use a universal blade, it is preferable to use the accompanying adapters rather than tighten down the retaining bold until you strip out the threads and warp the blade.  Most of us have picked up some maladaptive behaviors.  We've learned methods of self-protection that are not conducive to good relationships.  We escape, withdraw, lash out, deny, begrudge, lie ... usually to cover pain.  Ask God for healing.  Learn new ways to deal with people and situations.  Pray Psalm 51.  Be transformed.
5. Repair Improv - When the necessary parts are not available, don't give up.  Use what you have to make it work.  Like finding longer bolts, washers and nuts to put the muffler back on when the retaining clip is lost.  In life, we don't give up.  We keep learning and growing and changing.  We fail and we try again.  We go back to the Bible, to prayer, to good Christian friends - the basics - until we find the missing part to make it work.  We persevere knowing that it will have it's perfect result that we may become mature and complete lacking nothing.

All I Have Needed

In the hymn, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, there is the line, "All I have needed thy hand hath provided."  It goes on to talk about how great is God's faithfulness toward me.  Me.  "Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."  I certainly wouldn't argue that point.  He has been more than faithful to me.  He has been generous and gracious beyond any reasonable expectation.
But what about them.
We are surrounded on every side by poverty off all kinds.  Poverty of resources.  Poverty of education.  Poverty of community.  Poverty of hope.  Where is His faithfulness to them?
As we flew into Guatemala City, I had a window seat for the first time.  About half an hour out, I was watching the rolling hills, jagged peaks, river valleys, high plains and incredibly rich beauty scroll beneath us.  There was a lot of forested area, but there was an equal amount of hillside meadow.  There were vast, undeveloped areas without a hint of any human habitation.  Every now and then, a little hillside village would appear.  Little communities of no more than 100 dwellings.
Then suddenly, Guatemala City appears.  Our approach brought us over the city from the west and we circled around and landed from the south, giving us a view of about one third of this sprawling city of four million people.  Shacks and palacial estates sit side by side.  Middle class walled communities coexist with slums.  The first car I noticed was a Mazerati Granturismo.  Their are the extremely poor selling their handcrafts out side of international five star hotels.  The disparity is striking.
I know that Jesus said. "the poor will be with you always," but did He mean that he means for people to suffer in poverty?
I believe He has been faithful and His hand has provided ... we just can't handle it.  While people are malnourished, Guatemala's second largest industry is agricultural exports (mostly to the US).  People live in shacks while new luxury resorts are built.  Election posters abound from every possible ideology, yet nothing ever changes.  People continue their ancient animist practices, struggling without hope, while tourists visit cathedrals and chapels.
Great is His faithfulness to me, but what is the nature of my faithfulness to Him.

What my dad taught me about my Dad in Heaven

This is a replay from our first trip to Guatemala.  You can read more here.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Up a little early this morning. About to go see if there is some coffee ready. Ian asked yesterday, at the end of the devotions he led in the morning, "How do you see God's love for you?" I don't think any of us answered that question. We talked about how we were moved by what we saw and experienced. Several people mentioned being grateful for our 'stuff' when we see how others live. We were even awed at being able to serve as Jesus' hands and feet to touch these lives for this small place in time. But, I don't recall anyone saying how they saw God's love demonstrated for them personally.
For me, I think it is in be allowed to work with God. To be there when he does his 'thing'. To even contribute some small part to his work. To be a part of God's working, God's 'interfering' in the lives of men, women and children.
My dad did that for me. He let me work with him even when it made things take twice as long to get them done. Even when it meant he would have to go back and redo everything I had done.
God's an awesome dad. He lets me learn by watching him work. He lets me learn by trying things out. He lets me learn by messing things up. And he's always there with the 'great job' and 'I love you' even when I get it wrong.
How does he show you love?

Faith in Knowledge or Knowledge of Faith

"How do you know when taking a leap of faith in something is the right thing to do?"

This is the Great Paradox that is inherent in the intersection of the material world with the spiritual world.  How do you "know" "faith" in something is justified?
The real question is, "Which is greater, faith or knowledge?"  If knowledge is greater than faith, I need to "know" before I leap.  However, if faith is greater than knowing, that is what is required before I jump.

You've read this one:

Heb 11:1 NASB  Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

You can't "know" that  a leap of "faith" is the right thing to do.  If you "know" it, it is no longer "faith".  And, yet, no matter what premium we've attached to knowledge and rational thought in our enlightened age of reason, the reality is that it has little power to propel us into anything greater than where we are.  Only by faith in things unseen do we ever learn, grow, conquer, create - live really.  Knowing is limited to the material world and the five senses.  Faith allows us to transcend these to reach a place we have never been.  It doesn't negate "reality", but, simply puts it in its proper place.
The truth is that there is no place "where no man has gone before."  Oh, in the very literal sense there is in that no two situations are identical. I suppose, in that case, every "where" we go is unexplored.  But in a more practical sense, it is not about going to a place where no man has gone before as much as it is going to a place that I have never gone before.  Just because I don't have a road map doesn't mean there isn't one, or, as many people believe, that the place must not exist.
Faith is a conviction (the state of being convinced).  It is a term with strong legal overtones that carries with it the ideal that ample evidence has been presented to persuade us that "this" is the truth.  We "know" something to be true either because we have ample evidence through personal experience or because we have "faith" in the source of the information
You see, you can have a great deal of faith with very little knowledge, but you cannot have any knowledge at all without a great deal of faith.  In order to have knowledge, you have to have faith in your senses, memory, the consistency of experience and lawful order.  You must have faith that you can even "know" anything in the first place.  If knowledge is dependent on faith, then faith is greater.  If faith is greater than knowledge, then it is not necessary to "know" that "faith" is justified.  It is only necessary to know what our faith is in.
In the secular world, we should take the leap when it will lead to our growth and ultimate greater good or if it provides opportunity for someone else to do the same.  In the sacred, the question is, "Will this result in glory and honor to God?"
My faith is founded on God.  The ultimate source of creation and sustenance in our material world.  He is sine qua non (without which not), or that without which there is nothing.  My knowledge of Him is very, very limited, however, I am convinced to a very great extent through personal experience that He is more that I can even imagine and therefore completely sufficient.  As I continue to "leap", I accumulate more evidence of his all sufficiency.  When I leap amiss, I nearly always discover that my knowledge failed me.  But not my faith.
So, jump already.

For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day. KJV 2 Tim 1:12b

Dad

With mom it was different. The Sorrow showed up again when Jacob was born, when Whitney graduated, when I was ordained, etc. - or when I changed some thing that was "hers". When I removed the hibiscus bushes in the front yard, the empty place where they had been provoked The Sorrow every time I looked in that corner of the yard. There is still a hook in my ceiling where her oxygen tubing used to run. It looks silly, but it is comfortable.

With dad, it's different. He was my greatest fan, my greatest cheerleader, my greatest counselor. He was the first one I went to when I was uncertain. He was the first to hear of my latest "heresy" whether it was a new understanding of God, scripture, evangelism or how you "do" church. He new all my insecurity when I launched into unknown waters. He was the candle in the window in the darkest night that reminded me where I had come from so I knew why I was going.
The only question a man ever has to answer is, "Am I enough ... ?". Dad was my constant example/mentor on being enough.

With mom, The Sorrow was a momentary shadow that clouded my day.

For dad, The Sorrow is an ever present ache with a sharp pain in every triumph, every change, every new idea, every insecurity, every failure, every question, every new revelation of God, every time I reach to pick up the phone to ask/tell dad about ...
It's like nothing is ever quite complete since I haven't told dad about it yet.

: (

With My Own Hand

At my uncle's funeral, Dr Tom Smiley of Lakewood Baptist Church in Gainesville, GA introduced me to two novel concepts.  First, he spoke about a system of files he has to save every piece of correspondence he receives from or sends to each of his parishioners.  He got the idea from the vertical filing system in a medical office.  I'd thought about cataloging pictures of the youth that pass through so that at graduation we can present them with an album of their life growing up in the church.  It would probably add a lot of laughter and a little embarrassment to the graduation party as well.  But, I never actually pulled it off.  I suppose in my life, the file would be primarily electronic with a bunch of emails, a few blogs and enormous number of facebook status snapshots.  It just didn't seem the same.
The second was actually my uncle's file itself.  It was thick.  I mean really thick.  I'm sure when he pulled it out of the file, there wasn't much left in the G's folder.  He read passages from several.  It was like having Uncle Dennis back with us for a few moments.  Incredible memories.
I don't know that I will adopt Tom's filing habits.  I receive so little by way of written communication.  But, Uncle Dennis' writing habit ...
To that end, I've written (and mailed - that part is important, too) four letters since I got home from the funeral.  I mean with actual paper and ink pen.  Complete with writer's cramp, crossed out words, misspellings, ink smudges, a paper cut on the tongue from licking the envelope flap and the like.
I don't know how many it takes before it becomes habitual.  I hope it becomes an addiction.

(1Corinthians 16:21; Galatians 6:11; Colossians 4:18; 2 Thessalonians 3:17; Philemon 1:19)

#2 Pencil

 Wow.  I miss pencils.
Someone was rattling off a phone number to me and I just grabbed whatever writing instrument was handy.  It happened to be a yellow, #2 pencil.  I don't think I've held one this year.
There's just something special about them.  The weight of the line changes with lighter or heavier pressure.  You can do cross hatch shading and smudge it to soften the lines.  If it gets a little dull, you can sharpen it by shading in your doodles with the edge of the lead.  You can erase.
Pencils are to written expression what black and white film is to photographic expression.
I almost feel like this should be written in pencil.  I don't even have a "hand written" font to use.

Two Part Epoxy and the Art of Roadside Repairs

Most roadside adventures involve tires.  Simple flats.  Sling a tread.  There was even the time when the wheel came off the van and passed dad before the back end settled down on the pavement.
I've done various roadside repairs.  Alternators, water pumps, hoses, ignition wiring, fuel pump, serpentine belts, fan belts.  Dad and I even replaced a motor on the side of the highway using a fencepost and the dashboard for a engine hoist.
On my way up to my uncles funeral in north Georgia, I had a new one.  The gauges all looked good, but the engine started bucking like it does when it overheats.  I pulled off at the next exit, fortunately it was less than half a mile, and into a little ma and pop gas station.  I opened the hood and sure enough it was smokin' hot.  After half an hour, it was cool enough for me to open the radiator cap.  No water.  I went in and got some coolant and dumped it in and then a gallon and a half of water.  When I started the engine, it was hissing.  With only one ear, I have no directional hearing.  I couldn't tell where the sound was coming from.  Finally I spotted a little stream of water that I traced back to the bypass tube.  Two pin holes in the steel tubing - not the hose.  This is not good.
Checked my watch.  Only 8:45pm.  I can call dad.  Oh, wait ... no I can't.  On my own.
Drove down the hill to WalMart, and went looking for potential solutions. I started with hose clamps and rubber tubing.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find appropriate tubing and I wasn't willing to wait until morning for an auto parts store.
Next my mind turned to JB Weld because there is a long standing Freeman tradition that anything can be repaired with either duct tape or two part epoxy.  Didn't find JB, but did end up with LockTite's version.  Now, how to make it stick.  Bought some steel wool, a screw driver and pliers (along with the two part epoxy).
With much effort, contortion, cut knuckles and burned fingers, I finally removed enough hoses and bundles of wires to sort of more or less kind of reach the problem area.  I crammed some steel wool into the space and used the screwdriver to scrub the area.  I pried the wool out and inspected it and repeated the process about 6 or 8 times until it was as clean as I could get it.  But, it was still dripping water.  I needed a clean dry surface to bond to.
I found the hose leading to the tubing and tried to blow air though it so the water would not be in the tube.  After much effort (and the concern that if I did succeed in putting my mouth on the hose I would end up blowing hot water in my own face)  I finally decide I just couldn't reach it.  Okay, on a search for a potential solution.
I scoured the interior of the car and the trunk.  I finally settled on a fountain pen.  I gutted it and shoved it into the hose an blew on it.  It worked like a charm (ignore those first degree burns on the back of my hand.  it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as cuts on my knuckles).  Now the tube was no longer dripping, but I wasn't content with the condition of the tube's surface.  Was it clean enough for the epoxy to stick.  Besides, how was I going to get the two part epoxy into the small little alcove the tube was hiding in.
Back inside to search for solutions.  I settled on drinking straws, brake part cleaner and contact cleaner.
I sprayed brake parts cleaner on the tube several times and scoured it again with steel wool.  One more time with brake part cleaner and then to air dry.  Then I sprayed it with contact cleaner ( a non residue cleaner) just in case the brake part cleaner left a residue.  Now to mix.
I used the cardboard from the epoxy packaging and mixed a good portion of goo.  I scooped some up and in the straw and threaded it through the small space and slathered it on the now reasonably clean area.  Several times.  Let the waiting begin.  According to package instructions, two hours to drill, sixteen hours until full strength.
At this point, the funeral is only 11 hours away and I still have 3 hours to drive.  I give it two.  While waiting, I head back in to buy some water - just in case.
It is now a week and a half and 950 miles later and I still have all the water I bought in my trunk.
I thank God for two part epoxy and a dad that could fix anything.

In a Small Southern Town

My uncle passed away at the end of last week.  His funeral was yesterday in Gainesville; a small town of about 36,000 in north Georgia.   I just arrived home a few minutes ago.
I love small southern towns.  The people are more relaxed, more helpful, more kind, more ...
Well .... human.
On the way there, my car had some issues.  I stopped in a little town in central Georgia and found a water leak.  I went into a ma and pop gas station and bought some coolant and as the ol' boy was ringing it up, he said, "Now if you  need some water, just come right on back in."  ("You" not "y'all", because in the south we know "y'all" is plural despite any stereotypical representation you may see in movies.)  It turned out I needed some water.  I came back in and he filled my now empty coolant jug with water and said, "If you need some more, just come on back."  Keep in mind, that all 6 of his pumps had 2 cars at each, the store had about a dozen customers in it and he was there alone making order out of chaos.  Well, I needed more.  He filled it again, told me to come back for more and not to go off without a full gallon extra in my trunk.  Several hours later (what it took to make the repairs will be the subject of another post sometime) I got back on the road to Gainesville.
I finally connected with the family, made it to the funeral parlor, the church and finally graveside. (Actually, it was "finally" back to the church for lunch provided by two Sunday School classes for the entire extended family.  More hospitable should probably be added to the list above).
During the funeral procession, both from the funeral home to the church and from the church to the grave site, an interesting thing happened.  As the procession passed, all the cars on both sides of the road stopped.  Not just as the police escort passed, but for the entire procession.  This wasn't a little side road.  It was a 4 lane, state highway with a good amount of traffic right through the middle of town.  No one got impatient and tried to squeeze around the stopped cars.  No one honked.  No one cut into the line.
Literally hundreds of people stopped to pay their respect to the grief of a family and the loss to the community.
You see, in a small town, they understand.  When one of us hurts, we all hurt.  When someone dies it is a loss to us all.  Even though I don't know you personally, you are a part of me.  We don't live in a community, we are community.
It is more human in a small southern town.

Gettin' outta the boat (not)

Is "faith" getting out of the boat, or staying in?
It's easy to look at the guy jumping over the rail and walking out on the stormy seas and say, "Boy, does that guy have some serious faith!  Wish I had faith like that."  But, are we ever called to stay with the sinking ship?  When every intelligent soul on the face of the planet knows this thing's goin' down and even the rats are abandoning ship, could the act of faith be in sticking with it?
Yes, there was the time when the ship was tossed in the sea and it was really scary.  And Peter saw Jesus walking on the water and went out and joined him. (Matt 14:22-33)  But there was also the time when the sea was rough and even the experienced fisherman were terrified and they were waking Jesus up and saying, "Hey, don't you care.  We're gonna drown!"  That time, Jesus didn't walk on the water or invite anyone out of the boat.  He just said, "Where's your faith?"  And then, "Peace.  Be still." (Mat 8:23-27)
Sometimes faith is standing in the impossible place, knowing there is no hope, hoping only in God!

The Recovering Consumer's Lord's Prayer

I was meeting with a student – we get together once a week to talk about what God is doing in our lives (and other random things) – when I mentioned refrigeration and food storage were key in “getting off the grid”.  (I could lead you down the path of “are you called of God or convinced by Christians?” through used motor oil to how I arrived at that point, but it would take several paragraphs.)  I then made the observation, “Unless we become Amish”.  Their food storage is the living creature that produces the product.  I don’t need to refrigerate my milk, I just go obtain today’s supply from Bossy.  Which then led to “give us this day our daily eggs” and a few seconds later “and forgive us our decadence as we try to keep up with the Joneses.”

So, with no further ado, The Recovering Consumer’s Lord’s Prayer;

Our Father in Heaven, indescribable is who you are.  Your perfect plan is our desire, beautiful is the order you created.  Give us this day our daily eggs and forgive us our decadence as we try to keep up with the Joneses.  And lead us not into consumerism, but deliver us from our selfishness.  For in you is contentment, and peace and joy everlasting.  Amen