Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven (Matt 6:9)
It's supposed to be all about Him. It's all about His Kingdom. What's so hard about that?
Yet I don't seem to be able to remember it much past the last confession of my self-centered action or self-absorbed thought.
I catch a "high view" of God in a natural wonder or a passage of scripture or the words of a song or a sudden epiphany. I commit myself to turning over all of myself to Him. I make every effort to think only of Him. And it lasts all of 3 to 5 minutes until my next selfish act. Oh, what a wretched man am I. The good that I would, that I do not, but the evil that I would not do, that is the very thing that I do. (Romans 7:19&24). Always the war against myself.
Yet, He still loves me. It's not about my performance. Which is a very good thing. He loved me when I was in absolute, active rebellion. He loves me as I struggle. And that love makes the struggle a little more bearable. Little by little, sometimes in obvious increments, sometimes in such subtlety it goes unnoticed, sometimes in chaotic ripping and tearing, but ceaselessly the transformation continues, continually drawing me to surrender all I understand of myself to all I know of Him with His Presence bringing greater Peace than I've ever known.
Until the light of Presence shines again on my inner darkness and we begin again the refining process.
Oh, what a dearly loved by his Father in heaven who has given me everything I need for life and godliness and allows me to suffer the pain of being conformed into the likeness of Christ and that changes everything wretched man am I.
This spoke to me immensely because the word of the week for me has been "obedience". Something I'm not good at, but something God wants me to be. Deep down inside there is a sense of brokenness that is a constant reminder of our humanity. Sometimes I like to rationalize that I'm a victim of circumstance, but in thinking about it, why put ourselves in that place? God's perspective is so much better. We just need to be willing...and obedient...to make the effort to climb above those circumstances. I'm sure the view is more incredible! It's scriptures like this that remind us that we have hope and are indeed a people in need of a Savior. :)
ReplyDelete